Monday - getting out

So I slept until I heard someone yell out "Jail" - only it wasn't jail, it was Chow.  My hearing has gotten really bad during this whole thing.

Another rotten breakfast - although better than at the jail...oatmeal, pancakes and some meat pattie. 

Breakfast at 4:45.  I generally don't eat breakfast but I did and it filled me.

Then I was awake.  There are no clocks in the dorm - God knows what time it is half of the time and when the guys are awake - it is loud.  But then it got quiet again...people go out of there in shifts.

People in jail talk, they gossip, they swear.  I listened. I listened to everything they said and most of it scared the be-jesus out of me. 

I wanted to shower....but I couldn't.  Aside from the fact that I was afraid of showering there - which was without merit, I was afraid I would miss it when my name was called for orientation.

Showering is not an issue.  Only one guy goes in at a time....they place a broom across the doorway and that's that.

Inmates are an entitled bunch.  They act as if the CO's work for them and that their problems take first priority.  They don't you know...they really don't.

One of the guys wasn't going to be able to go out to work and freaked the F out. He yelled at how lazy the guards were - how unfair it was  - what he was going to do about it....as a result, he got placed in the dummy box...a funny name for an unfunny place. 

Finally my name was called for orientation...I went - two hours to fill out 3 sheets...things move slow in jail...I should have mentioned that earlier...time is slow in jail and the poor guards and staff with their pitiful pay and really horrendous working conditions move slower.

I spent the rest of the day trying to get my office verified, my schedule entered and not piss people off.  I don't want to piss anyone off because I think that makes things harder.  On another level, I want the guards and staff to like me. Why?  People I am like that but no, really because I think that if they like me they will treat me nicely --- very manipulative and unfortunately, uneffective.

I was also racing against the clock...the counselor leaves at 3:30..if its not entered by then, I would be screwed for another day...luckily I got it in and that was that - except for the nagging fear that the schedule would be wrong or be lost or any of the other things that People had talked about...see above...people in prison gossip.

The rest of the day was a waiting game.  I am trying to be nice to people but I am afraid that they want to rape me...interesting dichotomy, eh?  But I talked to a few guys...never telling them that I was a lawyer but I really give off the vibe a lot.

I was afraid to take a shower...not for the obvious reason but because I was afraid I would miss something..showers are taken alone in my dorm.  You put a broom across the way and no one goes in...lots of respect for personal privacy in an increasingly immodest place. 

The guys keep the dorm relatively clean and with minor exceptions are pretty respectful of others. There is a lot of drugs in the dorm...mainly spice.

I missed lunch which was a Zaebo or Zaybo...basically a bunch of bologna, 4 pieces of bread and a cookie with some juice.   My mother always said that if you were hungry enough you would eat anything...I am simply not hungry enough.

Despite how crappy the whole process is...I am still very thankful that it wasn't worse.  I was so glad that I didn't hurt anyone, all that...gladder still that I was sober and really employed what I had learned...humility and an increased spirituality.

I did talk to a couple of guys..Memphis and I don't know his name - both seemed pretty cool...taught me how to play garbage...which seems fun.  Memphis was showing me the ropes...grooming me? I don't think so but I am pretty stupid.